Yes, I have a destination in mind, but I'm having problems following
the plan on how to get there. I've drawn my road map, but for some
reason, I keep missing my next direction. It's really my own fault,
I've somewhat lost my focus.
I suppose I could blame
the chaos that is my life; but the reality is, I've lived in nothing but
chaos for the last nine years. I thought it would slow down a bit
after my mother passed away, but it really hasn't, the drama and
unexpected interruptions are coming from random different events. I had
actually started to feel like I had it together for a few months in
2013 until I got food poisoning and then my Dad's near death
complication from antibiotic resistant Strep B, subsequent 15 day
hospital stay and 3 emergency surgeries, my busted ankles, my Dad's car
accident, and it goes on and on...
Really busting my
ankles when I was in such tip top shape took it all out of me. I was
laid up non-weight bearing for 6 weeks and then it took another good 2
months to start running. Seven months later my running is consistent,
but the weight lifting is dead in the tracks.
I've
lost my road map and stopped at a few pity parties along the way and
took my time recovering from them. I have no one to blame but myself,
and if I miss my destination and have to delay the trip for another
time, it's my own damn fault!!
So what is the destination?? Well there are a few actually...
First
and foremost, I want a BQ marathon. I really have no business running a
marathon in 6 1/2 weeks, but I'm going to do it... I've put in about
90% of the mileage and maybe about 60% of the speed work...
Unfortunately I've totally bailed on the endurance stabilization and
strength building exercises... I figure I've got 4 weeks to build
and 2 weeks to maintain in my Hail Mary Pass. In the meantime, I'd
better put down the glass of wine, chocolate covered almonds, and
remaining junk food and clean it up!
Secondly I'd like
to get sculpted again, or at least look defined by April 28th... After
the marathon I'll go heaving on the weights and incorporate TRX and
continue with the clean eating at least 90% of the time.
Finally,
I'd like to find my self discipline again and lose the catastrophic
thinking. Really, this step should be tool I use to successfully
navigate to the first two destinations. Hmm, I hope that memory will
pull me through until I learn to read the right street signs and ignore
the unimportant ones.
I think I've lost my way a bit
because I started looking at the wrong road map and didn't realize it.
Funny thing is that was just pointed out to me at church on Sunday. If
you notice, attitude and distractions, basically loss of focus and faith
have been what strayed me and presented me the wrong map to follow.
As
with all things related to HIM, perfect timing opened the door in a
language I speak very well.... CHALLENGE; a 21 day exchange where I make
some “exchanges” in thoughts, attitudes and behaviors
that are holding me back spiritually. I've always found that when I'm
stalled spiritually, I lose focus on the destination and get caught up
in all the nonsense around me.
Ironically when I opened
my bible app, the book of the day was Ephesians 4, how appropriate, a
reminder of what my true destination is, and directions to help me get
there.
So I've loaded up my iPod with my Worship music
and I've said bye bye to Facebook for 21 days (only able to check it for
5 minutes after 9:00 PM) exchanging it with reading the Word or
journalling. I've exchanged the couch potato workout for anything that
involves moving and finally, I've exchanged food indulgences music,
dance, and snuggles with my girls to boost my mood. If it's after 9:00,
the bed will be just fine!
Wish me luck, it's day one and I missed my TRX workout but I hit my steady state run.
I exchanged the couch and TV for a bath, Ephesians 4, and another attempt at this blog!
