Trust, Strength, and Perseverance

I expected perfection and achievement of myself daily, but I hate repeated struggle, and I hate pain, especially the self-induced kind!  When a workout gets hard and painful, I struggle with continuing, can I succeed at this?  Did I really try hard enough?  Is it this hard for everyone?

Therefor, I really hate speed workouts and sharing my goals.  What if I don't reach them?  What if I don't have it in me to do the workout?  Which of course is why I announce them.  I need the accountability because without the accountability, I would never, never push myself this hard.

This morning was a struggle.  1) it was cold, and 2) Hill Repeats!  The training agenda was 2 mile WU followed by 6 X 400 hill repeats.  This is not just any hill either, it's a steep one.  56 ft elevation gain in 400 meters with a 3% average grade.  It qualifies as a category 5 hill, so a pretty good one.

I am an endurance athlete, I like it long and steady and below the level of pain.  Sprinting just hurts, and then you add hills, talk about insult to injury!  As I am running up those hills and feeling my legs burn, a different thought went through my mind on each 400:

1) This is working that saggy butt area, wow, you are out of shape!
2) Trust yourself, you can do this, you will not die!
3) I hate this, how much more to go?
4) My constant running verse:  Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Jesus Christ, who gives me strength.
5) Nope, no wine tonight.  Think of how much easier this will be in -5lbs!
6) You did it, way to be strong, finish hard, finish hard, love the pain!

On the run back, in the 35 degree wind, my mind was kind of drifting off in thoughts, and wondering how my legs were going to feel at TRX, and hating the fact that I would be drinking a smoothie when I got home to maximize recovery versus a nice hot bowl of steel cut oats or creamy buckwheat.  

All in All, it was great, smoothie tasted awesome and I was warmed up enough that the coldness didn't bother me.  My 400's were all below my LT, which means I could have pushed it a bit harder, my heart rate remained in zone 3, almost zone 4, but still zone 3.  This tells me that I need to reset my parameters of what pain is and it gives me a whole new respect for sprinters!  My time for all 6 hill repeats were within 4 minutes of each other, and the last one was as fast as the first and they were all faster than my MGP.  This is good news since there will be minimal hills in Eugene!  

As I review my run, I realize it didn't seem as hard afterwards as when I was doing it.  Somehow, I seem to be saying that a lot lately in other areas of my life.  When did I lose my mental edge and that can do attitude?  When it comes down to it, maybe I need to look at my attitude, have a little more trust in myself, and push through the pain with more praise and less complaints; and maybe I need to apply that in more areas of my life than just running.  There is hope, optimism, rewards, respect, and appreciation through pain and challenges.  

MMM, weight loss, and marathon training....  Is there something I need to remember?  Funny, the verse I found today:

John 16:33 I have told you these things so that you would find comfort in Me. In this world, you will suffer; but be courageous, for I have overcome the world!

Happy Running,
Tracy

Favorite Recovery Smoothie:
1 cup frozen blueberries (antioxidants and quick digesting carbs)
1 cup Almond milk (Calcium, phosphorus, sodium, and easy digesting carbs)
1 scoop Whey Protein (quick digesting BCAA ~ 10g protein)
1 Tbs. activated Chia Seeds
Blend and enjoy!